flowers,blazing star

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Can anyone help me?!?

Can anyone tell me if this is a good begging for an english horror story?!

The wind whistled slowly but surely in the frosty night. Like an easygoing, hushed cry. Spherical stones scattered across the pavement as if they were running from the leaves that fluttered to the asphalt and danced across the street. I glanced downward and looked into a creek, about five minutes away from my house. I gazed at the stream as the ripples extended throughout the water. Seeing this made special warmth come to my heart but inside I was worried, very worried. I kept trying to convince myself that nothing was wrong and that little feeling inside of worry was just my mind's eye like I usually inform myself after I watch a bloodcurdling film. But this time, it was different I knew it. I had a certain tugging feeling, which made me terrified.

All the sudden while I was admiring the goldenrod, radiant moon and stars, the sound I had been anticipating rang in my freezing ear drums. A scream, a gory scream was coming from within that house, my house. That shriek I could not forget all the time I was recklessly running towards what seemed to be a tranquil and serene house. I was astonished my weary, tingling legs didn’t give in until I got to my destination. Then a tear trickled down my cheek as slow as a glacier, previous to even realizing what had happened. My heart was throbbing, my hands were trembling, and I could not stop crying. What I saw was a living nightmare.

I tapped the sizzling hot front entrance handle, gradually twisted the knob…C-L-I-C-K! The door made a surprising noise when I turned it to the right. I held the door handle for a moment and pondered about opening that door. Taking my hand away from the knob I started quivering and weeping uncontrollably. But without even making up my mind my trembling, pale hand reached out for the partially polished, rusted door handle once more turned the handle and popped the door open. Liquid seeped into my periwinkle sweater as I tried to stop the tears from running like a faucet down my cheek. A blazing flame heated my entire body in not even a half a second. The warmth brought back cheerful memories. Ones of sitting on a prickly, warmed log in front of a campfire, and backing away for the reason that your face became to warm.

Can anyone help me?!?
i love it!!! dude thats good, seriosly id love to read the whole thing.. good luck

eye color

Sunburn. Feedback, please :]?

SUNBURN

You burn us.

Our tender skin swells and reddens, bloated with your shine,

while you dance firey hoops around us and beckon us

to jump through.

We jump; you burn.

And yet sometimes you nurture, dangling bright fingers down to us

to whisk away stale snow and parched clouds.

We worship you then, with knees folded and lips at your feet,

as you breathe blistering flames on our backs.

You blind us, but we don’t look away.

You burn us, but we bask in your light.

Because you are the center of our universe,

and we surround you, mystified,

squinting at your seductive radiance.

You blaze love into our faces,

brand your rays onto our chests.

And you’ve given us our own sparks, miniscule flickers smoldering

just under our charred skins.

They grow;

you feed them, oblivious.

We wait patiently for the day when you’re consumed by chill,

when you begin to shiver and your gleam wavers.

The day the universe sucks you in,

shredding you into a faded, dead star,

while we revel in glorious

Sunburn. Feedback, please :]?
I Love it! Very creative and different. I love the sun and know that with out it all life here would end completly, but your poem is so well writen, it leaves me with a sereal sence of comfort of what the darkness would bring. Thank You, for your words.
Reply:I hate to rain on your parade but I and millions like me will never know what this "sunburn" you speak of either is or feels like. You could say were were born with sun block in our skin.

Rate my pokemon pearl team?

Suggestions for my pokemon team?

Here they are:

Lvl 100 Blaziken

Brave Bird

Flare Blitz

Blaze Kick

Sky Uppercut

Lvl 100 Swampert

Mud Bomb

Muddy Water

Blizzard

Earthquake

Lvl 95 Leafeon

Leaf Blade

Return

Quick Attack

Solar Beam

Lvl 100 Rhyperior

Rock Blast

Earthquake

Horn Drill

Stone Edge

Lvl 100 Raichu

Thuderbolt

Return

Mega Kick

Thunder

Lvl 100 Dragonite

Outrage

Dragon Rush

Flamethrower

Surf

I'm thinking about replacing Raichu with a different Electric (and maybe another type as well, like a thunder/ground for example) pokemon. What would you reccomend? Are there any other pokemon you would reccomend replacing? Should I ditch certain moves and replace them with better ones? Thanks!

NOTE: I give 5 star ratings!

Suggestions for my pokemon team?
Blaziken- I wouldn't change anything

Swampert- I would reconsider on attacks take out muddy water and put in hydro pump. (train mudkip to lv 42)

Leafeon- Take out quick attack for a stronger attack like hyper beam

Rhyperior- Switch rock blast for hyper beam and give it some pp ups

Raichu- I would give it mega punch instead of mega kick and volt tackle instead of thunder bolt. (srry i can't think of an electric/ground). If you change it get a metagross or salamence. Metagross with meteor mash, metal claw, hyper beam, and psychic at lv 100. Salamence with dragon claw, hyper beam, fly, and crunch lv 100.

Dragonite- Very good you shouldn't change it.

I would say a great party just some moves to change and try getting every pokemon to lv 100. (lol i have a craze about hyper beam)
Reply:hmm...... maybe replace leafon's quick attack with toxic
Reply:I would probably reconsider some of your Dragonites move, I have a Salamance which can take out 4 of your pokemon single handed. I also have Rayqauza, has Fireblast, thunder, and icebeam, how many would that take from you? However, I do like your blaziken, a powerful pokemon there. I guess I see what youre trying to do, but I dunno, there are a lot of pokemon with few weaknesses that can learn a whole lot of variety of attacks (ex: rayquaza).

Good or bad beginning of a novel? I'm only 15 so if you see a lot of erros, you know why.?

He gives a final kick to my stomach, sending me two feet across the ground. “If you come back in this house, *****, I’ll beat your face until it’s unrecognizable!” I hear the trailer door slam back, swinging for a bit until clicking in place. Seconds later, my jaw clenches until it hurts. The tears never come. My hands don’t see if there is blood. I know there is. I can taste it in my mouth.

Why? Why does this always happen to me? What have I done to deserve this? I have never disobeyed David when he orders I strip for him. In every way possible, I have done what he wants and yet, he still acts as if it were not enough. What more can I do?

I quit my job just so I could take care of the things around here. David demanded me to be home early from work and I limited back so much that I only went to Lavigne Keys University for only four hours a day when I should have been there for eight. Now I don’t work at the college. I stay in this hellhole just to take care of my two baby sisters. I worry about them, my sisters. I try not to think of them in my position in the future. I would give up my life to prevent them from having a life like mine.

I have, for all my seventeen years of living, been in this hellhole. I clutch my heart under the night sky. Not even the stars light up my way. They seem so far away, so far apart, leaving me to this misery. I manage to get on my knees, my palms holding me above the ground. The ache in my side throbs; I go into a coughing fit, the blood from my busted lip and nose painting the pebbles and rock.

When I hear my sister’s scream, the hairs on my arms and neck stand on end. I jump to my feet, my mind and body suddenly ignoring the pain. I’m surprised I haven’t blacked out like I normally do. I stagger inside the torn down trailer, my jaw clenched. Lorena screams as our father flips the old coffee table, shattering the legs. She huddles deeper in Orlean’s chest with her hands over her head.

“Shut up, you blazing child!” David exclaims, his face red with rage. Lorena has a growing bruise on one arm but Orlean’s lip is bleeding and has a red hand mark on her cheek. I clench my fists, the rage welling up inside me at the sight of the blood. I hate blood. I always have since the incident. I jump on David’s back with a roar. I use all my strength to put him in a headlock. He claws at my arms, slamming me against walls while gagging and screeching. I feel the hot liquid run down my back but I keep my grip on the bastard’s neck. David slumps to his knees and then finally blacks out. I roll off him trying to catch my breath.

I look up at my sisters through black eyes. “Did he hit you?” I pant, limping to them. I crouch down, dropping to my knees, and search their pale, sweaty faces.

“I‘m scared,” Lorena sobs, snot dripping from her nose. I pull them to my chest, shushing them. Orlean’s fist balls up in my shirt, her hand turning white.

“I hate him,” her muffled voice says in my chest. “I hate him so ******* much.”

“I know,” I say, my chest moving so fast I think I might have a heart attack. Orlean always curses. She picked it up from David even though I tell her not to say them.

My mind spews up a few solutions to this chaos. First solution would only bring more problems and I would never see my sisters again. And I doubt I could ever bring myself to murder him, anyone for that fact. Option two is running away, but how many times have I tried that? Calling the police is another, but I have tried that before, too. Going to a home might be a little easier, but the boys aren’t all that nice, if you get the meaning.

I close my eyes and breathe slowly. When David wakes up, God only know what he will do but I get the distinct feeling I’ll end up in the hospital, or dead. And I don’t want either. “Let’s go,” I say, coming to the conclusion of leaving. I don’t know where we will go, but I cannot stand living here anymore, having my sisters in danger 24/7.

Lorena and Orlean look up at me. “Where?” Lorena asks, sniffling.

“Anywhere,” Orlean answers, getting to her feet. “I’ll grab the money.” She races to the back to our parent’s room. David has a stash, and once Orlean stole some to get me the medicine I needed, and she paid for it.

“We can’t take it!” Lorena gasps. “He’ll hurt you again!” Orlean snorts, stuffing the money in my hands and I shove it in my jean pockets.

“It didn’t even hurt.” I know it is a lie. She looks up at me through her long eyelashes. “I think he has enough for a hotel.” I nod and we head out the back door. I’m not taking any chances with the neighbors blabbering that we left to David when we wake up.

As soon as the cold air touches my face, all the times I tried escaping this place comes back to me. I began those runaways when I was nine. The same year Casten died. Lorena never releases her death grip on my hand and Orlean leads the run through the hold and rusty trailers. We come out on the sidewalk and sprint for all we are worth with nothing but the clothes on our backs and the money in my pocket.

I have always hated living in that trailer park. I hate what my life has come out to be. I hate what I do just for David’s friends’ pleasure. No more. I have had enough! I will not be raped again! I will not be beaten again! I will never have to do what that bastard says just because he is too damn lazy to do it himself! I’m out of here, along with my two sisters. From now on, I will be their mother. I will take care of them. No harm will be brought to them unless I am on my back. Dead.

Good or bad beginning of a novel? I'm only 15 so if you see a lot of erros, you know why.?
i like it ,i hope you'll keep on posting the rest :)
Reply:Good. Its a good start. If you think it needs to be revised you can always finish the writing and read over it to a better beginning that fits the story more from beginning to end.
Reply:Awesome work!

The start somehow evokes The Catcher in the Rye , which is a very interesting and fun novel!

Have you read it?

Keep up the great work!

You've got a talent for this!!!
Reply:good!!!! keep on writing!!!!
Reply:Very good for your age.
Reply:Wow, are you sure you're only 15? Your writing style is incredible! Very descriptive, very emotive...I'd say you definitely have something here. Keep working at it!

Who is described as; Head hair is white as snow,EYEs blazeing like fire?

12I turned around to see the voice that was speaking to me. And when I turned I saw seven golden lampstands, 13and among the lampstands was someone "like a son of man,"[b]dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash around his chest. 14His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire. 15His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters. 16In his right hand he held seven stars, and out of his mouth came a sharp double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance.

17When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: "Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. 18I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades.

Who is described as; Head hair is white as snow,EYEs blazeing like fire?
I think you are talking about Jesus. All white because He is shining.
Reply:An albino jesus
Reply:JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Son of God!

Our Lord And Saviour, My Father!
Reply:Jesus in Revelation. Maybe this is really what He looked like but the feature descibed here are very symbolic.
Reply:The resurrected, glorified Jesus Christ!

nail polish

The Song Of A Lover...A LOVE POEM.....Do you like it?

THE SONG OF A LOVER By Jay, "The Silver Bells"

My love for you may seem so strange

But it is true and will not change

There may be days when you could meet

The high-held stars upon thy feet

And there may come another day

When red red rose shall turn all grey

The blazing sun shall lose his heat

And waxing moon shall lose her seat

All that was fair may shape to foul

The fairy doves shall start to howl

But dear my love, though seems so strange

Is true by heart and will not change

There may befall a time for thee

To watch ten mountains on a sea

And serpents that had crept on land

May take few legs enough to stand

The cuckoo, robin, lark and all

With broken wings to earth may fall

The tigers that had lambs to please

May repent and may plea for peace

And all the streams that ran from west

May cease a while and look for rest

But dear, my love though seems so strange

Is true by blood and will not change

But you may say that these are lies

Love fast is born and fast it dies

There is no heart that yet is true

Struck not by jealousies are few

With time that flees and flees apace

All men shall dress with new a face

But dear when all my time shall pass

And I shall have a bed on grass

O come and meet me at my grave

There shall be daisies where you rave

They bloom where they had buried me

And they all blossom but for thee

For dear, my love though seems so strange

Is true by soul and will not change

The Song Of A Lover...A LOVE POEM.....Do you like it?
It is a beautiful and heartfelt poem.

She is very lucky to have such love, and you to feel this love.

Nice work:)
Reply:A beautiful, musical song/poem illustrating that love is eternal. It is not true that "Love fast is born and fast it dies," for there are those who can love until their bed is "on grass."

I admire all your poetry, no matter the theme, meter, or rhyme scheme. All of it seems perfect to me.
Reply:Jay, you should tell them where you live and which languages you speak. It will make them cry when they find that English is a second language for you. TD
Reply:Amazing, Jay. Absolutely amazing.
Reply:Well done. My compliments.
Reply:Yes. It sounds and looks perfect.
Reply:Pity we are only able to award one star.

I'd give you a Galaxy.
Reply:I like this, and tried it to several tunes I know. It fits well on an old confederate marching song of the civil war.

When Johnny Comes Marching Home.

I tried it to a boogie beat, and it fit the music, but just didn't seem quite right as a match to the subject.
Reply:Are you sure you aren't the reincarnation of one W.Shakespeare? It sounds very like him to me, or as he would write if he were to walk the earth to-day.

It its good to read a well-crafted verse such as this, maybe we would-be poets and seasoned poets could try to follow in your footsteps.

No promises, but I'm going to have a damn good try.

Well done,
Reply:Its not often I say this, but this is an amazing poem. I think it's the best I have read on Yahoo answers. You have a gift!

One tiny criticism, what do you mean by "there shall be daisies where you rave?". Where i come from rave means hardcore partying! Or to "rant and rave" which is comparable to some form of hysterics I guess, but I think contextually that line could be slightly tweaked.

Apart from that, the meter, rhyme and imagery are all very powerful and full of real emotion.

Really beautiful.

Hope that helps.

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