Just wrote a love song (honest opinion please)?

its called midnight star








scratch


and bite


and claw your way


inside of me





kick


and fight


draw your battle lines


in the sand





submit me to your command x 2





burn


like the fire


like the embers


that blaze in your eyes





you rise


like the sun


you could never deny


what you are





the midnight star





scream out the name of your lover


from the depths of the gathering storm


let the lightning and thunder surround you


grasp the rose by the thorn





breathe


be still


and whisper to me in the dark





sleep


and dream


you could never be less


than you are





my morning star











sorry if this ruins the song but essentially the song is about sex


the gathering storm is her orgasm





please for the love of god dont ask what inspired this

Just wrote a love song (honest opinion please)?
This isn't a "love song". This is a song of passion and fulfillment.





The lyrics are good, but (like the moment) it takes awhile to build. You may consider retooling the opening, or you may leave it since it chronicles your personal moment and you may not want to change anything.
Reply:Okay first thing:





*it was kinda cool but if ur goona talk about sex be more open because at first i had NO idea what u were talking about
Reply:ha, i would have never known this song was about sex, if you didn't tell me :D it's very artistic, but if you really want it to be about sex, be a little more open. :)

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